I am starting this post to think, realize and analyze on the continuous crying of wives, girlfriends, pampered sisters and daughters.
Mostly focussed on girlfolk, this post intends to find a place to burst out male emotions on continuous dissatisfaction of female fraternity.
Join me to know more, contribute your version of facts which you face everyday all around.
Let us understand the female psychology by using reverse engineering and regression techniques.
Mostly focussed on girlfolk, this post intends to find a place to burst out male emotions on continuous dissatisfaction of female fraternity.
Join me to know more, contribute your version of facts which you face everyday all around.
Let us understand the female psychology by using reverse engineering and regression techniques.
Women Vs. Beer !
ReplyDeleteMost men like women. But, most men like beer too ! So, for men it
becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer ! Following
is a debate, developed by the University of Mumbai, in India ......... to
help you analyze which is better ! Here is the debate ...........
A Beer is always wet, a woman is not !
1 point for beer !
Beer is horrible, when it is hot !
1 point for women !
A cold beer, satisfies you !
1 point for beer !
If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If
you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and
she might even not talk to you again !
Draw ! ( Depends on your point of view ... )
10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and
you don't have to drive anywhere !
1 point for women !
The older, The beer is - the better, it is !
1 point for beer !
Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God !
1 point for women !
If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you are normal. If you
ask yourself how the next beer will be, you are an alcoholic !
1 point for women !
For a beer, you pay taxes !
1 point for women !
If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry !
1 point for beer !
You can always be sure that, you are the first one " Opening " a beer
!
1 point for beer !
If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself !
1 point for beer !
You know exactly how much a beer costs !
1 point for beer !
A beer does not have a mother !
1 point for beer !
You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half an
hour after !
1 point for beer !
So the Score is .......... Beer beats women - 9 to 6 !
If you are a woman reading this and getting angry ........ know that a beer
would never get angry ! So .......... Another point for beer !
Now the final score is .......... Beer beats women - 10 to 6 !
Beer Bottle never looses its shape..!!
ReplyDelete100000000..points for Beer.!!
Suni M
Sex is the price women pay for marriage.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is the price men pay for sex.
If you liked dis quote, for many more, read the book: Why Men don't listen and Women can't read maps -Allan & Barbara Pease
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
ReplyDeleteA man inserted an ´ad´ in the classified: "Wife Wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
First guy (proudly): "My wife´s an angel! Second guy: "You´re lucky, mine´s still alive."
I think, the blog is going in a little different direction then the heading.
ReplyDeleteany ways,
Lets focus on crying.
If you reach home late, your wife will cry, "You don't give time to me".
If you arrive early to spend time with your wife, your mother will say "Aa gaya bahu ka pichalaggu" ( wifes obidient husband or something like that)
You don't spend much money on your wife, she will cry, "you don't take good care of me" and if you do, your mother will cry, "You don't save money, just spend it on not usefull expenses"
So my friends, this is just an example and there are lots of things in life where "crying is ON".
And
Offcourse if you watch a beautiful girl and praise God for his art, The crying get louder.
Com'on we are just praising god, aren't we?
;)
We used to know "Hansi to Fansi" (if she smiles, she is in the trap), but now I realize "Hansi to Ladka Fansaa" (if she smiles, the boy is in the trap).
ReplyDeleteThink over it!
Indian wives are good at preparing tiffin (lunchboxes) for their husbands. In return they seek everyday appreciation!
ReplyDeleteIf you appreciate - then the question of genuine or regular or fake appreciation occurs!
If you do not appreciate - then question of stone heart occurs!
Husbands do not loose heart, this is one of the way for learning strategic speaking.
Rashmin has telegraphed me this..
ReplyDelete- Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to "Woman Hitler?"
What is the difference between Husband and "Hanuman"?
ReplyDeleteAns: Both do selfless service. One is married and other is not!
Does this also prove that situation of married men and bachelors are same?
A realization about Indian husbands:-
ReplyDeleteMother-in-Law respects more than the Wife!
Few things that all women all over the world say:
ReplyDelete1. No one understands me!
2. If it was me........
3. The other woman is nothing!!
Does any man understand these 3 statements any time?
Husband is DRM protected content and contains specially Forward Lock.
ReplyDeletedid you know that its so freaking easy for a woman ?
ReplyDeleteall they have to do it thin of a puppy they had when they were young , which passed away ( or something similar , u get the idea ) , and you can see those tears ...it comes naturally to them :D
well thats their secrut .. i dont think u need reverse engg .. lol
but then even one tear breaks our hearts doesnt it ? :(
For gym obsessed women: (Hindi):
ReplyDeleteMun Halka karo, Tan khud ba khud halka ho jayega
Aaj ka Motapa.... Kal ka ho jayega.
(English):
Relieve your mental feelings and you will be relieved of much of your today's weight.
For women; The world is not enough.
ReplyDeleteNo one can fathom exactly what they want at any moment. Not even they themselves! Its dynamic and not consistent similar to stock quotes on NYSE or LSE.
Time is money
ReplyDelete1. Let your wife/girlfriend have your time and they spend your money.
2. Let your wife/girlfriend have their own time and they spend your money.
So hold their hands when spending time with them!
Behind every successful man there is a woman.
ReplyDelete1. Which woman?
- supportive woman?
- understanding woman?
- other woman?
2. Behind every successful "woman" there is a
- Rich man
- Poor man
- No man
TV & BV (wife in Urdu) - Comparison
ReplyDelete1. Both shock with electric current without a hitch
2. We like our own TV and other's BV.
3. Whatever good quality they have, we feel like changing them.
4. Both tell global news & information.
5. You can get both in your marriage.
6. As long as they are quite, house is peaceful.
7. Both are liked when they are new
8. Both are entertainers
9. Both are never quiet
10. Both are selected from various sizes available.
11. Life is silent without them
12. TV = Electricity Bill; BV = My wallet's Bill
13. We have to listen forcefully when both start speaking.
Leftover Time
ReplyDeleteQ. How do you study at home after 2/3/4 kids at home?
A. During "Leftover Time". This means:
- travel to office
- travel back to home
- when 'either' kids are sleeping
- when 'all' kids are sleeping
- when kids and wife are sleeping
- when 'either' kids and wife are sleeping.
- when wife is sleeping (you can manage kids to get "your time"
- before they wake up
- toilet
- business trips
- when kids are 'Adults' and wife is 'Old Kitten'
Men discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,
ReplyDeleteWomen discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
Men discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
Women discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
Men discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
Women discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.
Men discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
Women discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
Men discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
Women discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.
Men discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
Women discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.
Thereafter Men have discovered and invented a lot of things...
While Women STUCK to shopping.
WORDS can be jumbled to make SWORD.
ReplyDeleteHistory has shown us that Woman can be won by both but 'won over' by only WORDS.
Historically SWORD has won woman and WORDS have trapped her.
Today both adorn them and I am finding new definitions.
Woman OR Woe-man?
ReplyDeleteIf every woman wants herself to be loved by others "As she is"; why does she paint her face and body with expensive cosmetics?
ReplyDeleteAnd if "As she is" is the norm, why does she remove all her paint?
Or put it?
Husband: My wife does all the small activities - e.g which car, which paint, which school for kids, my career surgery, suggestions for investing, suggestions for buying jewellery and TV with same ease...
ReplyDeleteI do only the bigger and broader activities - whether Obama will be next president, whether Hillary be next VP, whether India - Pakistan keep up F******* Kashmir...
Short Note on Mother
ReplyDeleteWhen I came drenched in the rain,
My brother told why don't you take an umbrella with you.
My sister said why not you waited till it stopped.
My Dad angrily said only after getting cold, you will realize.
But my MOTHER,
as she was drying my hair with her saree,
was shouting
not at me
........... But at the RAIN
- By Asmita
Comment from Veena Bhagat
ReplyDeleteEK SHAADI SHUDA KI DAASTAN :-))
Abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
Khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
Khushiyaan kuchh yun umad rahin thi,
Ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi..
Subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana
Thoda sharmate huye humein neend se jagana,
Wo pyaar bhara hath hamare baalon mein phirana,
Muskurate huye kehna ki..
Darling chai to pi lo, Jaldi se ready ho jao, Aap ko office bhi hai jaana.
Gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayee thi,
Dil aur dimag par poori tarah chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete they to naam usee ka hota tha,
Ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
5 saal baad........
Subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,
Table par rakh kar jor se chillana,
Aaj office jao to munna ko
School chodte hue jana..............
Suno ek baar phir wohi awaaj aayi,
Kya baat hai abhi tak chhodi nahi charpayee,
Agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,
Munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena..
Na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,
Dil aur dimaag par kaali ghata chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete hain to unhi ka khayal hota hai,
Ab har samay jehan mein ek hi sawal hota hai..
Kya kabhi woh din laut ke aayenge,
Hum ek baar phir kunwaare ban paayenge......
"And they lived happily ever after" - popular phrase everywhere.
ReplyDeleteCorrections-
:And 'SHE' lived happily ever after;
'HE' also lived:
An oxymoron is usually defined as "A phrase in which
ReplyDeletetwo words are contradictory meaning" are brought together:- (Don’t miss the last one, ie.11th)
> 1) Clearly misunderstood
>
> 2) Exact Estimate
>
> 3) Small Crowd
>
> 4) Act Naturally
>
> 5) Found Missing
>
> 6) Fully Empty
>
> 7) Pretty ugly
>
> 8) Seriously funny
>
> 9) Only choice
>
> 10) Original copies
>
> And .......
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> 11) Happily Married
- Pramod Mukkundi
Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room, talking
ReplyDelete> about life... In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.
> I said to her:'Dear, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally
> dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that
> state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping
> me alive, I'd much rather die'.
>
> Then my wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration
> towards me...and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish,
> the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and
> then went to the fridge and threw away all my beer!!
>
> ....I ALMOST DIED !!!
- Manju Rupani
For you men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember... that's where the knives are kept.
ReplyDeleteMareez (Patient) - Mujhe ajeeb si bimari ho gayi hai. Jabe meri biwi bolti hai toh mujhe kuch sunai nahi deta.
ReplyDeleteHakim - Yeh bimari nahin, Tum par allah ki rehmat hai ...!
Wife - You say I look old, but one of your friends still praises me .....
ReplyDeleteHusband - must be that Joginder Singh ................
Wife - Yes, But how do you know ?
Husband - He is scrap dealer.
Jackie Chan's wife dies 1 year after marriage.
ReplyDeleteSanta Singh tries to console jackie chan, but not sure what to say suddenly blurts,
"hota hai yaar .... Chinese thi, Aur Kitna Chalti ........."
Joke
ReplyDeleteAn efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "Don't try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the fridge, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, "You're wasting too much time. Why don't you try carrying several things at once?"
"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in ten."
via Rohan Agrawal @Facebook:
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time, a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary with a lot of fun & flair.
They had become the 'most infamous couple' of the city for not having a single conflict during their period of 25 long years! Local newspaper editors too had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well talked about "happy go lucky married life".
Editor: "Sir, it is amazingly... unbelievable. How did you make this possible? Please share your thoughts & experiences for the well being of the Society!"
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:
"Well, we had been to Napa Valley for our honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay, but the horse on which my wife was riding, seemed to be a crazy one. On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time"!
She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time, she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.
When the horse dropped her the third time, she silently took out the gun from the purse and shot the horse dead!!
I could not resist & shouted at my wife: "What the hell did you do, you psycho! You simply killed the poor animal. Are you gone crazy?"
She gave a silent look and in a cool, composed posture, she said: "This is your first time"!!!
And, thenafter we have lived happily... No arguements, No quarrels, No pitty fights!"
Husband concluded: "That's it. We are happy ever after". :)
If a girl is in love, her parents ask: Who is that Idiot?
ReplyDeleteIf a boy is in love, his parents ask: Idiot, who is that girl?
MORAL - No matter whoever is in Love, Boys are always Idiot.
Baba Ramdev kahte hain ki achch sehat ke liye sAAS par control karo...
ReplyDeleteab baba ko kaun samjhaye yahan biwi par control to hota nahi, SaaS par kaise kare..!
Husband to Fat-Cute-Wife: You are my only investment that has doubled.
ReplyDeleteSita ke vanvas jaane mein bahut badi seekh hai.
ReplyDeleteGhar me agar 3 - 3 SaaS ho to jungle hi thik hai
Define Check-Mate:
ReplyDeleteYou tell wife: I saw a lady who looked exactly like you!
and wife asks "Was She Hot?"
You can't say 'no'
You can't say 'yes'
That's Check-Mate.
Har ek kamyab aadmi ke peeche 1 aurat hoti hai jo use itna tang karti hai ki vo dukhi ho kar apne kaam me itna busy ho jata hai ki kamyaabi khud uske kadam choomti hai.
ReplyDeleteWife: sunoji, aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai, meri beauty ya meri akalmandi..?
ReplyDeleteHusband: mujhe to ye teri mazak karne ki aadat sabse achchi lagti hai.
Sher 'Urge' kiya hai..
ReplyDeleteSamundar se keh do apni lehren samhall ke rakhe~~
Zindagi me toofan laane ke liye gharvali hi kaafi hai~~
Chai(tea) ki patti (leaf) aur pati (husband) me kya similarity hai?
ReplyDeletesocho...
nai pata..?
Dono ki kismat me ubalna likha hai, vo bhi aurat ke haathon.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?
ReplyDeleteIts just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins.
Gusse ka aana mard ki nishani hai...
ReplyDeleteLekin gusse ka aana aur ussey pee jaana....husband ki nishani hai.
Man was sent on earth to struggle...
ReplyDeleteAND
Woman was sent to earth to make sure it happens.
Position of husband is like split-AC, no matter how loud he is outside, but inside the house he is designed to remain silent, cool and controlled by remote.
ReplyDeleteMost dangerous qualities of wives..
ReplyDeleteThey listen HALF
Understand QUARTER
Think ZERO
React DOUBLE
&
Remember FOREVER
A successful marriage is based on give and take, where husband gives money, gifts, dresses and wife takes it &
ReplyDeletewhere wife gives advices, lectures and tensions and husband takes...
Wife: Kitna pyar karte ho hame?
ReplyDeleteSardarji: ShahJahan jitna?
Wife: mere marne ke baad Taj-Mahal banvaoge?
Sardarji: main plot bhi le chuka hoon paglee, der to too kar rahi hai...
Santa ka beta admission from bhar raha tha, usme ek column tha "Mother Tongue"
ReplyDeleteBeta: papa, yahan kya likhun?
Santa: likh puttar, VERY LONG & UNCONTROLLED.
Two things are extremely difficult.
ReplyDelete1. to plant your idea in someone's head
2. to plant someone's money in your own pocket
The one who succeeds in both is called WIFE.
This is called True Love.
ReplyDeleteTantrik apne 1 bhakt se - Beta tum pe 1 bhootni ka saya hai.
Bhakt - Baba, main thappad maar dunga jo meri Wife ke baare me kuch kaha to..
Shaadi ke baad pati ke mobile me patni ka naam MY LIFE likha tha..
ReplyDelete1 month baad MY WIFE
5 Years baad HOME
10 Year baad HITLER
aur
15 Year baad WRONG NUMBER
Friends are like Priya Gold biscuit - Haq se maango
ReplyDeleteGirl Friends are like PEPSI - Ye Dil Maange More
Wife is like SARIDON - bas ek hi kaafi hai.
Aaaj ka suvichar -
ReplyDeleteDuniya ka sabse achcha beta har maa ke paas hota hai.
Duniya ki sabse achchi biwi har padosi ke paas hoti hai.
Lovers decided to commit suicide. Boy jumped first but Girl did not jump..!!
ReplyDeleteFrom that day started the concept of...
LADIES FIRST.
Loyalty Test:
ReplyDeleteWife buys a dozen of underwear of same color for husband.
Husband: Same color? People will think I never change underwear.
Wife: Which people....?
Husband: Meri T-Shirt ulti kar ke press karna.
ReplyDelete1 hour later Husband: T-Shirt press hui?
Wife: Koshish kar rahi hoon par mujhe :ULTI: nahi aa rahi hai.
BiWi banate samay Bhagwan ne kaha -
ReplyDelete'Achchi aur Samajhdaar BiWi duniya ke har kone me milegi'
AUR FIR BHAGWAN NE DUNIYA GOL BANA DI...
Ab dhoond lo kona..
Wife: I am not feeling good.
ReplyDeleteHusband: Its bad, I was thinking to go out for dinner..
Wife: I was joking..
Husband: Me too, chal uth roti paka shabash..
Marriage is a workshop.
ReplyDeleteWhere
Husband works and Wife shops.
Aaapne suna hoga - Maa Baap ke karmon ka ful Beto ko milta hai.
ReplyDeleteLekin kabhi kabhi Maa-Baap ke karmo ka ful, unke Damadon ko bhi bhugatna padta hai.
शादीसेपहले
ReplyDeleteसंता-इसदिनकातोमुझेकबसेइंतजारथा।
प्रीतो-तोमैंजाऊं?
संता-ना!बिलकुलनहीं।
प्रीतो-क्यातुममुझसेबहुतप्यारकरतेहो?
संता-हांहां,पहलेभीकरताथाआगेभीकरतारहूंगा।
प्रीतो-क्यातुमकभीमेरेसाथधोखाकरोगे?
संता-नहीं,इससेअच्छातोहोगाकिमैंमरजाऊं।
प्रीतो-क्यातुममुझेहमेशाप्यारकरोगे?
संता-हमेशा।
प्रीतो-क्यातुममुझेकभीमारोगे?
संता-नहींमैंऐसाआदमीनहींहूं।
चमेली-क्यामैंतुमपरभरोसाकरसकतीहूं?
संता-हां
प्रीतो-ओहोडार्लिंग!
पांच साल बाद संता-प्रीतो के जीवन की तस्वीर उलट गई, तो अब इसी चुटकुले को नीचे से ऊपर पढ़ें।
पत्नी नहीं बनाती खाना
ReplyDeleteमुकेश ने आह भरकर कहा- मुझसे ज्यादा बदकीस्मत और कौन होगा? मेरी पत्नी बढि़यां खाना पकाना जानती है, लेकीन वो नहीं पकाती।
यह सुनकर उसके मीत्र रामू ने कहा- ऐसा मत कहो, दुनीया में तुमसे भी बड़े बदकीस्मत मौजूद हैं। मेरी पत्नी की मीसाल ले लो। वह खाना पकाना नहीं जानती, लेकीन पकाती है।
संता ने अपनी बीवी को अपने दोस्त के साथ पिक्चर देखते हुए देख लिया
ReplyDeleteउसने आवदेखा न ताव अपनी बंदूक से दोस्त को गोली मार दी
बीवी ने देखा और बोली तुम अपने गुस्से पर काबू रखा करों वरना एक दिन सारे दोस्तों से हाथ धो बैठोगे।